The Overwhelming Pressure to Breastfeed
When Charlie was born, I was determined to breastfeed. Like most new moms, I put all the breastfeeding gadgets on my registry and did endless research on the best pump to make sure I would be set up for success. There wasn't even a flicker in my mind that I would have any issues breastfeeding. I mean, how hard could it be, right?
Everyone around me made it sound like it was the easiest part of the newborn phase. One of my best friends even told me she had to buy a whole other freezer because her milk flowed like a river. It seemed like the only acceptable choice, given the numerous "breast is best" campaigns I encountered. However, my experience was far from what I had envisioned. Breastfeeding was challenging, painful, and filled with moments of self-doubt, anxiety, guilt, and compulsive obsession.
The pressure to exclusively breastfeed was immense. Friends and family—well-meaning though they were—offered unsolicited advice and often questioned my commitment when I faced difficulties. This sense of judgment weighed heavily on me, adding to the already overwhelming task of caring for a newborn.
Even nearly five years later, the guilt of not being able to breastfeed still weighs heavily on me. I often find myself reflecting on how I "gave up," thinking that I was too dysregulated and my body shut down on me and refused to produce milk. I wish I had sought professional help or practiced more yoga to calm myself. While I know everything happens for a reason and in its own time, I can't help but dwell on the many what-ifs and regrets surrounding my very brief breastfeeding journey.
Emphasize the importance of mental and physical well-being in motherhood instead
No one told me how much breastfeeding could affect my mental health. The physical pain was one thing, but the emotional toll was another. I felt trapped, inadequate, and like I was failing my baby every time I struggled to latch or produce enough milk. I literally cried over spilled milk. A couple of times. The societal pressure to succeed at breastfeeding can amplify these feelings, creating a vicious cycle of stress and guilt.
I recall leaving a breastfeeding support group feeling ashamed, as it seemed like everyone else was nursing effortlessly while I sat there wondering, "How do I do this?" I recognize that they might have faced challenges as well, but that was my experience, which ultimately discouraged me from returning to the group.
Numerous studies have shown the direct impact of stress on milk production, yet the stigma around choosing formula over breastfeeding persists. Women should not have to compromise their mental well-being to meet an idealized standard of motherhood. Support groups and mental health professionals are invaluable, but what's really needed is societal acceptance of all feeding choices.
When Charlie was just 4 weeks old, I noticed a bump appeared in her lower abdomen and groin area every time she cried. This led to her needing surgery to repair an inguinal hernia at Boston Children’s Hospital to repair it. At the time, I connected her cries with hunger and my struggle to feed and soothe her, which I convinced myself resulted in her hernia. This narrative is firmly etched in my mind, even though it might not be true.
The experience was frightening, but a pivotal moment came during a heart-to-heart conversation with my husband about tracking her feeding times—literally, I recorded in a spreadsheet down to the exact minute. After that discussion, I realized that for my own mental and physical well-being, I needed to transition from breastfeeding to formula feeding.
If I Knew Then What I Know Now
Looking back, I wish I had known that it's okay to choose what's best for both my baby and myself. Whether that's breastfeeding, formula feeding, or a combination of the two, the most important thing is that the baby is fed and healthy and the mother is mentally and physically well. I wish I would’ve sought out professional help from a Lactation Consultant that did approach breastfeeding more holistically.
Flexibility in feeding should be normalized. Not every mother can or wants to breastfeed, and that's perfectly fine. Each family is unique, and what works for one might not work for another. Education about all feeding options should be provided without bias, allowing mothers to make informed choices that suit their circumstances.
How Yoga Can Help with Breastfeeding
Yoga therapy helped me cope with the pressures of breastfeeding and transitioning to formula feeding. I've supported multiple breastfeeding moms with personalized, holistic treatment plans to manage their heightened stress and anxiety alongside a Lactation Consultant or Postpartum Doula.
As a yogi for almost 20 years, I should have known this when I was in the thick of it, but I was stuck in the fog of the newborn phase and overwhelmed by it all to see clearly. Yoga therapy provided a sanctuary from the stress and chaos, offering both physical and emotional relief and acceptance of the "what is." Specific poses helped alleviate back pain from nursing and improved my overall posture. The breathing exercises and mindfulness techniques reduced my anxiety, making feeding times more peaceful for both me and my baby.
There's a study that found that "eight sessions of yoga, for 6 minutes once a week, started at 32 weeks of gestation were able to significantly increase prolactin and oxytocin levels in women in the postpartum period. These findings suggest that yoga can be used effectively by obstetric care providers as a complementary therapy to standard antepartum and postpartum care to increase prolactin and oxytocin levels in the postpartum period."
The study revealed that the mean prolactin levels were significantly elevated in the intervention group, measuring 176.8 ng/ml compared to just 24.8 ng/ml in the control group. Similarly, mean oxytocin levels were notably higher in the intervention group at 58.6 pg/ml, while the control group had only 14.6 pg/ml. Since lactation depends on the secretion of these hormones, the findings suggest that yoga, by promoting relaxation and reducing stress, may positively influence their levels.
Breastfeeding is an intensely personal choice and should be respected as such. Mothers deserve support rather than pressure in their feeding decisions. Nourishment is a vital aspect of motherhood, and it’s crucial to view mothers holistically—considering their physical, emotional, and mental well-being. We must move away from a one-size-fits-all approach and acknowledge the unique needs and circumstances of each family. By fostering an environment of choice and flexibility, we can help both mothers and babies thrive. This is the essence of yoga therapy. Yoga therapists understand that we are not the sole providers of holistic alternative care; instead, we collaborate with our clients to empower them to become the best versions of themselves, utilizing all available modalities.
If you're struggling with feeding, remember that you're not alone, and it's okay to seek help. Yoga therapy is just one of many tools that can provide support and relief. And most importantly, trust yourself—only you know what's best for you and your baby.
Source:
Koyunca, SB., Yayan, E. (2022). Effect of Postpartum Yoga on Breastfeeding Self-Efficacy and Maternal Attachment in Primiparous Mothers. Breastfeed Med. https://doi.org/10.1089/bfm.2021.0320
